BAD DAY!!

I woke up this morning ready to go to work.. but to my shock!!! my hand phone was stolen .. It was just beside me!! found out it was my brother that took it when i was asleep..
i know i should not blog about my family problem .. but i really cannot take it anymore!!!!
my dad lose his job 6 years ago.. so ever since he has been at home.. i dunno if it is really hard to find a job or what but.. he just cannot find any.. i already give up on the idea that he will find any job.. anyway he is already in his 50s.. just hope he Will stay happy n healthy.. ( anyway. my dad has a MBA k.. Master in Business Accountancy from USA)yet cannot find any job.. this tells me something that is very true.. in THIS COUNTRY AGE MATTERS THE MOST!!!!????
because of this i have to sign on into the navy.. i never like it in here.. but.. NVM..
then over this 6 years alot of things happened in my family.. my mum have to start working .. but after 2 years she also cannot take it anymore.. n she left the house to go back to Indonesia to stay with her sisters.. coming back once a while to see us then go back again.. has been like this the pass 3 to 4 years .. :( i love my mother alot .. n i know she love me too.. alot alot.. if there is going to be anyone that can love me 2nd to Jesus it will be her.. my dearest mother..
about my brothers.. as i need to start working n provide the income for this family.. i dun have much time to spend with them.. so our relationship became more like strangers then brothers.. i really dunno when n how.. they become from bad to worst every day.. my 2nd brother hardly at home.. always go out with his gang.. gambling like nothing.. sometime i really dunno where did he get his money from.. he just know how n where to get it. . i dun even know if he still take me as his brother or not... then the 3rd one.. n also he is the one that i love most.. what ever he want i will try my best to give him.. BUT now.. he steals from me.. took anything of from the house to sell .. YOU KNOW FOR WHAT????!!! i find it funny .. just to go funland n timezone to play.. n to show off to his friends that he is rich.. HELLO brothers.. 6 years ago.. we are rich.. but come on..... now we are poor.. just face the fact.. YOUR BROTHER, I, CANNOT DO THIS FOREVER.... i need your help!!! I NEED YOU ALL MY BROTHERS.. why can,t you get it.. N stop stealing .. 3 handphone you took away n sell it ..THREE!!! you know.. you think i am vary rich huh???? i really cannot take it anymore.....
I am 23 already.. i really need to start saving for myself .. how am i to do that when i have so many things in hands... i wanted badly to go back to school to study.. I REALLY WANT.. is not that i am the type that cannot study.. i can n i want.. but i dun have the money n time..
am I just finding stupid reasons or what.. i dunno.. i just want to let a happy life.. one that can help others n my family.. i love to see people smiling.. !!!! but my family.. they just dun smile.. last time i see all of us being happy as a family was 6 years ago... I hate MOney... because it TAKE away what true love means..kills what family love means.... IS JUST A PAPER.. THAT YOU USE TO EXCHANGE THINGS AROUND!!!!!!!!!( i know some of you will not agree with me.. but is just how i feel about money.. isn't it true that nation fights, families torn apart , brothers kills each other just because of money.. n is also because of own greediness)
i pray .. or maybe just never pray enough.. that GOD.. pls help my family.. help me lord.. there are times i really feel like just ending this life of mine.. is really very tiring.. but i know Father this is a test you gave me.. n you will never give any test more then i can handle right.. so Father i still want to thank you more n more.. I LOVE YOU MY GOD MY FATHER... help my family to come back together.. i cannot do this alone.. Father i pray n ask for your guidance.. amen