the way i feel now..

Many a time .. i tried to tell him how should things be done.. n every time is a 'OK'.. but in the end is still the same.. how . is it really true that if you cannot change a person then dun bother to.. the standard of every one are different.. so even if you have a higher standard.. that does not mean you should expect the same standard from them..
but.. what should i do then.. to close one eye n pretend every thing is ok??!!
i really dunno.. getting really tired of reminding him.. n also dun feel good about it.. having to keep an eye on some one my senior.. i really dun want to keep telling him off.. but .. is just that all the things he do are all not right to me..
is like when things are to be done the proper way he will do it the short cut way.. but when things can be done in just one simple step.. he did it in a longer way..
i want to do so much more.. i feel like just do my stuff n dun care about how he is going to get his things done.. but i just cannot do that.. i have a very bad habit.. if i see things not right.. i just cannot stand it.. ( wish that i am not there to see how the things are done..)
can i really just close one eye.. n carry on with my job.. then when he is not around.. go n help him clean every n put every thing in order!!! HOW??

Still going on!!!..

Am very very tired... just came back from class... n found out that the course will only end next years June .. not March.. AH!! if is really true.. i am died meat.. the long sailing will start next years end of March.. that means i have to miss the rest of the classes n may even not pass the exams.. i really dunno how... have to do something about it loh...
hmmm.. about ytwo now.. i really dunno what to say.. even me.. feel like giving up n stop going back ... some of them still are not interested at all.. but some are ... what makes me so up sad n angry .. is that is so unfair.. to those who came n work hard .. why??? why is this world like that .. this things is not only true in the working live.. but even now.. in the school!!
people just dun understand.. they dun think for their friends.. all so self-centered....
i am not going to give up .. I AM NOT.. because.. there are still some that wanted this band to go fur.. YTWO can go very fur.. WE CAN!!... ( thank you ,to all the leaders n friends(members) who are still believing n to those who at least try to listen n help.. thanks a million )
is all about attitude. .. when you want it.. you will get it..!!!
Father.. .. keep me talking... keep me going.. keep me with you.. my lord .. my saviour...

THinGs that MaTters to me!!

Well.. the same thing again.. have been very busy.. n sailing n sailing.. haiz..! next month on.. will be even worst. .. every week sail for 2 to 3 days.. haha.. but ok lah.. kind of like the part where i get to see the big sky full of stars.. n just me n the sea... ( way to get off this busy world ) hehe..
ok .. there are a few things that really matters to me.. the first is my family.. my mum n dad n my brothers... my dad Now is in the USA... trying to find job there.. dunno if things will go well for him.. i pray that it well .. hmmm.. anyway.. my dad just call me 2days ago.. telling me alot of things.. it seems to me now.. that he really want me to go US with him after i finish my navy service.. (seems to have very high hopes that he can bring me there.. ) N to study n work in the US.. hmmm i am not very sure yet..
then... YTWO is also another thing that really matters to me.. i really wish that this band can do very well.. that the friends(student) can grow up n become somebody in the future.. we have lots of clever people .. but how to get them to love the band... i really am trying ,doing all i can for this to happen.. anyone? can give me some good suggestion on how to go about getting a group of youth together.. how to have them love what they are do????
i need some help here... thanks...

God.. pls forgive me ..!!

i feel that i am drifting further away from Father.. have been so busy.. n having so many things in my mind... most of it is about ytwo....
Father.. where are you...?? or is it really true that you are always there but is just me not paying attention to you... drowning in my own world... lord.. pls help me stay close to you.. even if every thing in this world of mine is gone.. or lose.. i will never want to be out of your sight...
Father.. i love you.. i need you.. and I AM THANKFUL.. to know you.. n that you found me..
for all the ytwo out there... pls stay as one.. n also.. try to think for your fellow ytwo friends.. your leaders have been trying very hard to get the band going.. but to do that we need all of you to help.. you know very well what is the right thing to do.. how can we improve when people dun come at all.. STAY AS ONE guys.. pls.. some may not even like to come for the practise.. it is boring or what ever have you.. but that is the past.. lets give each other a chance.. give yourself n ytwo a chance.. we can do it.. kk!!! YES WE CAN IF WE WANT TO!!!!!

I think i am losing it!!

just finished cooking.. keep on thinking about how to go about making the lesson in ytwo more interesting n how to teach every thing in such a short time.. hei..
totally no mood to cook at all...
I feel that cooking is a form of ART...you really need to be in love or in the mood in order to cook a great meal.. if not willing to cook or not in the mood.. every thing will be bad!!!!
i dunno lah!! just cannot find the "WANT" thing anymore..
just now started out without knowing what to cook.. so just get anything i can find n just cook.. turn out to be bad i feel.. but lucky enough have time to change the end product..
haha.. thank God.. it turn out well.. hmmmm..
I really feel that Father sent a angel to me.. because every time the food that i cook always turn out well.. maybe not great.. but still good to eat. hehe...
but for now.. i really need a break to find back the "FEEL"( cooking )..
Anyway the end product is:
Steam Onion Pork Rib Rice w Oyster source..
Stir fry CHI XIN with mushroom
Deep fried spices Fish with cumin
Leek n Onion Chicken Soup
Fresh Cuts of Sweet Melon...

always in my heart..

sorry need to say this before i get back to work..
FLUTE SECTION... sec 2s pls wake up k.. no more happy go lucky liao.. need really to be better.
get the sections act together pls.. dun let your seniors down..
DUN LET ME DOWN!!!
will be starting to take sectional soon.. i promise.. will make the time available for you girls..
PLS spent more time and attention on your sec 1s........ THanks a million....
you girls are still my favorite section... FLUTE SECTION ...

COM DoWn!!!!!

ah.. this pass few days got so much to say.. but cannot blog.. because my computer is down.. dunno what happened..guess was because my brother keep on loading games into it...
now is still not working loh..
i am using the com in my camp now.... hei!!!
anyway.. where should i start... hmmm.. maybe just talk a little about my work first..
last week i went for a boarding team training.. haha i pass it.. lucky.. well i am proud to say that now.. i am not only a chef on my ship.. but i am also a boarding party.. ( have to put on the bullet proof vase n the M 16..)
then .. i spent my week end in YTWO again... well i dunno why.. but each time i go back .. i get more n more in Love with the band.. the leaders the people .. everything..wanted to do so many things with them.. teach them every thing i know... n is really no words i can find to describe how i feel...
why i am only able to teach them on sat.. why??!!!! So wish that i have more time.. more free..
that when they have practise i am there also.. just really enjoy every moment being with the band .... maybe not all of the band mates like to see me.. haha i dunno.. but.. i just cannot stop thinking of the band..
almost every day .. i would be thinking .. how to be a better teacher... how can i make the students fell in love in playing in the band.. how to change those that have attitude problems .. how to teach them to become a better person.. SO MANY HOW TO HOW TO!! HOW TO!!
right now.. how i wish that i have not sign on... how i wish that i am out of here.. studying... working in the hotels.... (i just pray n wish that this two years in the navy will pass even faster..)_

IS good OR bad?!!

same thing every time..
dun have alot of time to blog.. hai..
NVM.. a fast one will do..
today i just started to go to gym again.. trying to find some time for the weights.
Getting Fatter.. anyway that is besides the point..
as i walk home.. i was thinking.. is very funny.. since last week i have stop thinking of wanting her to be my girlfriend liao.. or should i sAy.. i am no more interested in having one...
the thing is.. i have never have this feeling before.. not sure if it is good or bad.. but there is a missing piece of puzzle in me.. i use to want to find it.. but now.. no more.!!!!!!!
not that it is found.. but i just am not interested anymore..
Work , Study , YTWO n FLUTE SECTION is all i have in my mind.. nothing more then that..
( Hannah sis.. take care of yourself k.. get well soon.. dun let me worry about you.. i pray that Father will take away all your sickness n bless you with a healthy mind n body.. n also happiness n joy..)
good night.. zzzzZZZzzz ....ZZzzz

A long n fast week...

ok.. just came back from **** .. hmmm very tired..
wanted to blog about yesterday.. but really too tried out.. maybe next time..
but all i have to say is ... i am greatful to Father.. for all his blessing n guidance..
n also to YTWO... you guys rocks.. i know the performance n practise are too much...
n yet you guys still can handle it.. believe me.. if you continue to work hard n enjoy what you are doing..
YTWO will EXCEL.. to the new leaders.. thank you.. stay with the band.. n do your very best to build YTWO up.. you all can go very fur if you dun let laziness sets in...
hmmmm my head is spinning liao.. zZZZZzzzzz.. YTWO... you are the only band that i love ...