Dunno where to start.!!!!
it has been a while i guess since i blog...
really dunno what to write... Sad n DEpress is the word.. very tired of every thing also...
this question have been in my mind ever since i came back from japan.. or should i say.. my mind set have changed since then...
why am i not born in a rich family. where i dun have to worry about money n just concentrate in my studies.. not having to stop because of No MOney to study.. i really dunno why..
why do i have to take over so heavy a responsibility when i am yet up to it. n every one thinks is easy... "saying i can do it!!!!!!!!!!"
why am i blessed with so many worries? why???? not all are mine to carry!!!.. they just push it to me because i looks like i am up to it.. yah yah yah!! i am.. if is one by one..
BUT IS NOT.. all this come at the same time...
i know i still can do it.. BUT ... i am reaching my limit soon.. VERY SOON!!!
do anyone know... that i even think of just killing myself last week. i really want to..
but what stop me is that i still have my family that needs me.. my mother n father...
i thought if i die .. at least there will be lots of money from my insurance , given to them.. hmmm
but .. i know is stupid lah. thats why i am still around.. then still have my friends n sisters from the flute section n ytwo.....
all that is in my mind now.. is to do my best in the navy.. study hard (part time) n get out of the force.. then work very very hard to become the best chef i can be.
i wish not to have the same thing happen to my own family in the future....
believe me .. one day i will be there.. with every thing i always wanted to be n have..
thank you Father....
1 comment:
my heart sunk upon seeing your blog entry . i can't believe that ou actually thought of dying. you are always the one who help ppl through their hard times and help them through . stop them to do silly things. well. honestly speaking , yupps i can't really understand what kind of stress you are under now . But all i can say is that dying isn't the best solution . or rather . is NOT the solution . sometimes it's really hard to face it . But all things ( be it be good or bad ) eventually , it will come to an end . (: moreover . you still have your sisters and friends around you to support you yarhs (= rememeber what you said ? the sisters from flute section are your happy beans . (= No matter what we will always be there for you (= Do take care of yourself . !
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