MY LIFE 23

130408

2008-04-13T17:35:00.002+08:00

Hmmp.. tomorrow sailing off again .. for 5 days.. long long ah..
have been having fun the past 2 days.. out till 3 am on Friday.. n yesterday till 7am..
out drinking with my best friends on Friday.. n last night.. went out for a movie w monkey.
then join her n friends to Kbox..
hmmmp.. am now having alot of things to think about..

just came back

2008-04-09T23:11:00.002+08:00

haha.. dunno what to have for title.. haiz..
just came back from a day sailing. n also started to cook again after so long time of no cooking..
lucky.. my cooking skill did not go down the drain too much.. haha..
hmmm.. 3 days already men!! no time to go to gym.. ah!!!!
feel like so soft now..
n tomorrow still got to go for DCTC training.. should be fun i guess.. will get wet all the way for the bottom up.. anyway.. if any of the YTWO flute section did come across this posting,...
GIRLS.. I MISS YOU ALL ALOT.. !!!!! really wish that i do have the time to go to school to see you girls.. n listen to the section! hmmm.. hope in the near future bah..
counting down to the major sailing.. about 51 days to go.. ( feel really like not going for this trip,
going to miss every thing here.. haiz)

AT 24

2008-04-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

Wah!! Finally .. have been having problem logging in.
things is getting really very busy now a days.. as you get older.. you will find that 24 hours a day is never enough.. haiz..
sailing after sailing.. work after work.. haha.. really wish time will pass faster .. really cannot wait to get out of here.
going to sent in my early release form very soon.. hopefully will be approve without any problems.
haha .. if very thing is smooth sailing.. i will be out by next year 110709.. hehe..
then .. by end of next year will be at USA working n studying..
Pray hard!!!! every thing will go smoothly.. AMEN!!

2008

2008-01-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

what am i busy with.. i also dunno.. i am just doing what i really like to do.. which is bodybuilding.. cook? yah.. that is my job.. i love cooking too.. but not in the navy.. one more year to go.. n i will be out.. ( hopefully!!!!) i really have no motivation working in the navy.. not that is not good at all.. just dun find any reason to be ... have been sick.. for a while now..
I WANT TO GO BACK TO STUDY!!?!?!?! but where do the money come from.. if next year i really get to get out of here.. what am i to do.. wish that i can just go for study. but.. what about the money?? who will support my family.. ? do i really have to work n study.. i know that i cannot do that.. i dun want to.. that way i will not be able to do my best.. then.. if i just go straight to work in a hotel.. what then.. ??!?! i will take a longer time to get up there!!!!!
NO! i dun wish to stay in this place.. i feel like i am so slack ever since i get into this GREAT navy... get me out someone!!!?!?!?!?!

BUSY

2007-10-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

it has been so busy for me.. haiz..
thinking of deleting this blog soon.. anyway i dun have time for it anymore..
oh yah.. things seems to be better for me .. haha.. but still do have some EMO problem now n then.. haiz..
some times i just wish God would take away my feelings loh..
but i know is silly to wish for that.. haha
so .. i still thank God for creating me a emotional person.. haha or should i say.. ROMANTIC..
HAHA
just joking.. well .. God is really great to me.. n i found the reason for me to live a happy life.. haha .. HAVE YOU?

MY GOD IS THE GREATEST!!!

2007-09-23T22:32:00.000+08:00

HEHE.. hmmp.. where should i start..
well there is lots of things i want to thank Father for...
is not that i have no more problems at home or at work.. but is just that it really feels great to know God.. he is really great.. just no words that i can say or use to describe him.. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD. JESUS CHRIST... my Father, n friends, my lord.... hehe..
so yah.. so in love with him...... i want to thank him for every single thing .. be it good or bad.. because i know he loves me.. like a Father who care n love his child... n i wish i will forever be drown in his love .. that's all i want.. because.. his love is every thing... haha.. yah. prise the lord....

How am i doing now

2007-09-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

hello!..
i know.. you think that this blog is died right?.. hnmmm.. i feel like it tooo..
but... still..
i am ok... just busy .. so deeply in love.... DEEPLY IN LOVE..
WITH GOD.. is so great to be a child of God... my friends out there..
give him a try!. n you will know.. how great is our GOD... haha....
oh yah.. i started to practise my Flute again.. if not because of Father..
i would not have done so... SO... yah... i am forever great full to have found him.. hehe...
so.. yah.. Anyone out there.. want to stat from somewhere.. only you are really very lose..
let me know.. n come to church with me k.. hehe.. take care....

2007-08-29T11:52:00.000+08:00

When there is nothing to blog about.. nothing that seems to be interesting in my life now..
every thing is about work n nothing more.. every thing is about my family..
i lose my self.. not able to do whatever i like.. not able to go where ever i want..
not even know why am i doing this for.. when will i be able to .. live my own life..
the only love n hope i have is from the lord.. Father , God most high..
i dun want anything .. nothing.. i just want to be in his house.. his arms..
everything i do.. is working towards Father now.. he is my motivation.. he is my hope..
he is the one who loves me more then anyone on earth... more then anyone i know..
How i wish i can be right by his side soon.. very soon...
but not now.. there is still lots of things that he want me to do.. not yet.. sadly..
i have to live my life fully... for Lord, Father.. My God .....

2007-08-22T20:43:00.000+08:00

CAN ANYONE OUT THERE MOTIVATE ME???
I REALLY NEED THE MOTIVATION NOW???!!!!!!!!!!!!
is the first time in my live .. i lose the motivation to work hard..
what is wrong with me??????????????????????????

Changing!!

2007-08-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

ah well .. have not been blogging for weeks liao... haha.. really am tried n busy with work n study.. hmmm.. a friend of mine just went over sea to work.. FOR 2 YEARS!!!!! ahhhhh
i am going to miss her like crazy loh.. hmmm..MMM
time flies really fast .. really..
still do miss ytwo .. but after reading some of their blogs.. haha.. guess they are really doing very well.. YTWO.. JIA YOU!!!
as for me.. my family seems to have big problems .. but non of them want to know.. haiz.. nvm..
well i just do what ever i can loh.. haha.. after all.. this is already my best.. nothing more that i can do mah.. pray that God will do the rest bah..
anyway.. i started to change alot of my thinking .. on life.. haha.. n also on who should i go out with.. hehe.. it seems to me that i am much more happier now.. but still lonely lah..
How i wish that i will meet my right girl soon.. haha.. to share my happiness n joy.. n to be with me when i am down.. hehe...
ah yoh.. nvm.. is just a dream for the time being.. as for now.. is work n study that is the most important.. N ALSO NEVER FORGETTING.. LORD, GOD, MY HEAVENLY FATHER.. hehe
I LOVE YOU.>...

long day of work..

2007-07-28T01:45:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. just came back from sailing again.. haha.. not that bad lah.. very busy.. because 1 man down.. only get to sleep 2 hours for 48hs....
still thinking of them.. n tomorrow will be the first day i am not going back liao.. hmm.. nvm
anyway.. reach Singapore at 1630.. them quickly rush to meet my best friends for dinner.. haha
have a "ok " meal in this TAO restaurant.. ( haha.. the boss may be my Long lost brother)
the food there not too bad.. but the service i think is good in general..
have been studying..my day now is just three things happening.. work, study n gym.. very tiring ha..... sometimes so sleepy .. haha.. too long have not been touching the books liao..
ANYONE OUT THERE FREE TO STUDY WITH ME ON THE WEEK ENDS??! cannot study at home lah.. will end up sleeping.. haiz....

2007-07-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

I JUST DUN FEEL LIKE BLOGGING ANYMORE.
FEEL LIKE STARTING A NEW..

Leting go is never easy!!!

2007-07-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

10 years.. finally letting go.. is never as easy as it seems.. have been thinking about it for a month..
n now i did it.. finally..
dunno what to say.. just am depress.. sad n dunno why. the feeling is like blue sky turns to grey!!
anyone know? haha.. i dun think so.
feel like i have fail totally.. but i did my best i possibly can for ytwo.. hmmm.. No regrets i believe.. after all .. is like free labour for 5 years liao.. hmmm.
My best friends are betting .. that i will go back within a month.. n that i will never be able to let go..
i really dunno.. REALLY DUNNO...
lots of words i wanted to tell them.. so much to say.. so.. so.. but in the end.. .. nothing ..
all i wish you YTWO is that you guys will quickly grow up.. love the band.. love to play music.. not just come for the cca points.. be a very strong band.. n prove yourself .. is not just a cca.. take it as a subject
i love ytwo very much.. is my every thing .. but now.. is the past..
hope one day.. i will be back. n that time.. i will be able to teach better.. n help you guys more. or even ..
achieve one of my dreams.... to be the band conductor of ytwo.... . . . . sad...............

ah??!!! time time time

2007-07-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. very busy ah!!! time.. where..

Finally.. a load off.. hehe

2007-07-14T23:17:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. today in general.. hehe.. is a happy day.. a bit EMO in the morning .. but i guess is all over.. i finally am able to put them down.. after 10 years .. hmmm..
i believe is Father, lord, god.. heehe .. that want me to.. To carry on with life.. n start doing some things for myself..
Well , i will still be there guys.. no worries.. is just that from now on i will not be putting you guys as my number one thing in live anymore.. guess that will not mean anything to you bah..
really wish you guys all the best.. n remember my friends.. never give up so easily.. fight till the end .. n most importantly.. every thing you do.. make sure is the right way. not the dirty ways.. stay as one.. protect n be with ,n for each other.., N you will Excel.. i believe you will.
MY GOD is with you.. he is .. hehe..

I am back.... haha!!

2007-07-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

hi.. am back from 4 days sailing.. AHAHA.. so happy.. hmm. cut my fingers!!
anyway.. now a days, my fingers feel swollen at times.. hmmm.. guess is because of my work as a chef bah.. having to work in both very hot n cold places ..
worried , hope that it will not get any worst.. my grand father is also a chef .. n when he gets older, which is now, his fingers swollen up.. like jumbo hot dogs.. :p... hehe..
NOT goinG to happen to me i hope.. haha.. hmmm.. dunno if tomorrow will have band.. should be checking it out later.. got some important things that i need to tell the band..
Anyway.. things seems to become clear to me.. what to do n what should not be done.. some times i am thinking, is it time for me to let go n carry on with what i should be doing for myself.. is yet to be know.. lets hope i can find the answer tomorrow.. hehe..
most importantly.. I know i am a happy man.. blessed with lots of great friends , like YOU, n also under My Fathers wings.. Lord.. I love you.... THANK YOU....

Sailing Sailing N SAILING!!!!!

2007-07-07T21:49:00.000+08:00

HAIZ. just came back from sailing again.. guess the busy sailing days are back again. every week with out fail.. next week sailing for the whole week again..hmmm..
again again again...
i am really starting to get sick of what is happening.. i dunno if i can carry on like this.. i really love to do what i am doing .. but with him always keep changing his mind .. never fail to push every bad things, that happen, to others..( in the first place , is he who wanted it that way ,most of the time .if not all!!)ME having to keep silents.. is just not me.. i really dunno if i am doing the right thing or not.. really wish that i can be like last time.. just with my sisters..
really want to tell him that i dun think i am fit enough to be. or should i say i dun like the way he do things.. ( just not right to me)... n just want to be like the pass..
i pray that Father. will give me a guide on this.. should i drop it n carry on to do my part OR keep going on..
Sisters.. i need some words of advice from you all.. thanks..

the way i feel now..

2007-06-27T12:35:00.000+08:00

Many a time .. i tried to tell him how should things be done.. n every time is a 'OK'.. but in the end is still the same.. how . is it really true that if you cannot change a person then dun bother to.. the standard of every one are different.. so even if you have a higher standard.. that does not mean you should expect the same standard from them..
but.. what should i do then.. to close one eye n pretend every thing is ok??!!
i really dunno.. getting really tired of reminding him.. n also dun feel good about it.. having to keep an eye on some one my senior.. i really dun want to keep telling him off.. but .. is just that all the things he do are all not right to me..
is like when things are to be done the proper way he will do it the short cut way.. but when things can be done in just one simple step.. he did it in a longer way..
i want to do so much more.. i feel like just do my stuff n dun care about how he is going to get his things done.. but i just cannot do that.. i have a very bad habit.. if i see things not right.. i just cannot stand it.. ( wish that i am not there to see how the things are done..)
can i really just close one eye.. n carry on with my job.. then when he is not around.. go n help him clean every n put every thing in order!!! HOW??

Still going on!!!..

2007-06-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

Am very very tired... just came back from class... n found out that the course will only end next years June .. not March.. AH!! if is really true.. i am died meat.. the long sailing will start next years end of March.. that means i have to miss the rest of the classes n may even not pass the exams.. i really dunno how... have to do something about it loh...
hmmm.. about ytwo now.. i really dunno what to say.. even me.. feel like giving up n stop going back ... some of them still are not interested at all.. but some are ... what makes me so up sad n angry .. is that is so unfair.. to those who came n work hard .. why??? why is this world like that .. this things is not only true in the working live.. but even now.. in the school!!
people just dun understand.. they dun think for their friends.. all so self-centered....
i am not going to give up .. I AM NOT.. because.. there are still some that wanted this band to go fur.. YTWO can go very fur.. WE CAN!!... ( thank you ,to all the leaders n friends(members) who are still believing n to those who at least try to listen n help.. thanks a million )
is all about attitude. .. when you want it.. you will get it..!!!
Father.. .. keep me talking... keep me going.. keep me with you.. my lord .. my saviour...

THinGs that MaTters to me!!

2007-06-22T13:20:00.000+08:00

Well.. the same thing again.. have been very busy.. n sailing n sailing.. haiz..! next month on.. will be even worst. .. every week sail for 2 to 3 days.. haha.. but ok lah.. kind of like the part where i get to see the big sky full of stars.. n just me n the sea... ( way to get off this busy world ) hehe..
ok .. there are a few things that really matters to me.. the first is my family.. my mum n dad n my brothers... my dad Now is in the USA... trying to find job there.. dunno if things will go well for him.. i pray that it well .. hmmm.. anyway.. my dad just call me 2days ago.. telling me alot of things.. it seems to me now.. that he really want me to go US with him after i finish my navy service.. (seems to have very high hopes that he can bring me there.. ) N to study n work in the US.. hmmm i am not very sure yet..
then... YTWO is also another thing that really matters to me.. i really wish that this band can do very well.. that the friends(student) can grow up n become somebody in the future.. we have lots of clever people .. but how to get them to love the band... i really am trying ,doing all i can for this to happen.. anyone? can give me some good suggestion on how to go about getting a group of youth together.. how to have them love what they are do????
i need some help here... thanks...

God.. pls forgive me ..!!

2007-06-18T12:55:00.000+08:00

i feel that i am drifting further away from Father.. have been so busy.. n having so many things in my mind... most of it is about ytwo....
Father.. where are you...?? or is it really true that you are always there but is just me not paying attention to you... drowning in my own world... lord.. pls help me stay close to you.. even if every thing in this world of mine is gone.. or lose.. i will never want to be out of your sight...
Father.. i love you.. i need you.. and I AM THANKFUL.. to know you.. n that you found me..
for all the ytwo out there... pls stay as one.. n also.. try to think for your fellow ytwo friends.. your leaders have been trying very hard to get the band going.. but to do that we need all of you to help.. you know very well what is the right thing to do.. how can we improve when people dun come at all.. STAY AS ONE guys.. pls.. some may not even like to come for the practise.. it is boring or what ever have you.. but that is the past.. lets give each other a chance.. give yourself n ytwo a chance.. we can do it.. kk!!! YES WE CAN IF WE WANT TO!!!!!

I think i am losing it!!

2007-06-12T13:05:00.000+08:00

just finished cooking.. keep on thinking about how to go about making the lesson in ytwo more interesting n how to teach every thing in such a short time.. hei..
totally no mood to cook at all...
I feel that cooking is a form of ART...you really need to be in love or in the mood in order to cook a great meal.. if not willing to cook or not in the mood.. every thing will be bad!!!!
i dunno lah!! just cannot find the "WANT" thing anymore..
just now started out without knowing what to cook.. so just get anything i can find n just cook.. turn out to be bad i feel.. but lucky enough have time to change the end product..
haha.. thank God.. it turn out well.. hmmmm..
I really feel that Father sent a angel to me.. because every time the food that i cook always turn out well.. maybe not great.. but still good to eat. hehe...
but for now.. i really need a break to find back the "FEEL"( cooking )..
Anyway the end product is:
Steam Onion Pork Rib Rice w Oyster source..
Stir fry CHI XIN with mushroom
Deep fried spices Fish with cumin
Leek n Onion Chicken Soup
Fresh Cuts of Sweet Melon...

always in my heart..

2007-06-11T12:41:00.000+08:00

sorry need to say this before i get back to work..
FLUTE SECTION... sec 2s pls wake up k.. no more happy go lucky liao.. need really to be better.
get the sections act together pls.. dun let your seniors down..
DUN LET ME DOWN!!!
will be starting to take sectional soon.. i promise.. will make the time available for you girls..
PLS spent more time and attention on your sec 1s........ THanks a million....
you girls are still my favorite section... FLUTE SECTION ...

COM DoWn!!!!!

2007-06-11T12:01:00.000+08:00

ah.. this pass few days got so much to say.. but cannot blog.. because my computer is down.. dunno what happened..guess was because my brother keep on loading games into it...
now is still not working loh..
i am using the com in my camp now.... hei!!!
anyway.. where should i start... hmmm.. maybe just talk a little about my work first..
last week i went for a boarding team training.. haha i pass it.. lucky.. well i am proud to say that now.. i am not only a chef on my ship.. but i am also a boarding party.. ( have to put on the bullet proof vase n the M 16..)
then .. i spent my week end in YTWO again... well i dunno why.. but each time i go back .. i get more n more in Love with the band.. the leaders the people .. everything..wanted to do so many things with them.. teach them every thing i know... n is really no words i can find to describe how i feel...
why i am only able to teach them on sat.. why??!!!! So wish that i have more time.. more free..
that when they have practise i am there also.. just really enjoy every moment being with the band .... maybe not all of the band mates like to see me.. haha i dunno.. but.. i just cannot stop thinking of the band..
almost every day .. i would be thinking .. how to be a better teacher... how can i make the students fell in love in playing in the band.. how to change those that have attitude problems .. how to teach them to become a better person.. SO MANY HOW TO HOW TO!! HOW TO!!
right now.. how i wish that i have not sign on... how i wish that i am out of here.. studying... working in the hotels.... (i just pray n wish that this two years in the navy will pass even faster..)_

IS good OR bad?!!

2007-06-04T22:09:00.000+08:00

same thing every time..
dun have alot of time to blog.. hai..
NVM.. a fast one will do..
today i just started to go to gym again.. trying to find some time for the weights.
Getting Fatter.. anyway that is besides the point..
as i walk home.. i was thinking.. is very funny.. since last week i have stop thinking of wanting her to be my girlfriend liao.. or should i sAy.. i am no more interested in having one...
the thing is.. i have never have this feeling before.. not sure if it is good or bad.. but there is a missing piece of puzzle in me.. i use to want to find it.. but now.. no more.!!!!!!!
not that it is found.. but i just am not interested anymore..
Work , Study , YTWO n FLUTE SECTION is all i have in my mind.. nothing more then that..
( Hannah sis.. take care of yourself k.. get well soon.. dun let me worry about you.. i pray that Father will take away all your sickness n bless you with a healthy mind n body.. n also happiness n joy..)
good night.. zzzzZZZzzz ....ZZzzz

A long n fast week...

2007-06-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

ok.. just came back from **** .. hmmm very tired..
wanted to blog about yesterday.. but really too tried out.. maybe next time..
but all i have to say is ... i am greatful to Father.. for all his blessing n guidance..
n also to YTWO... you guys rocks.. i know the performance n practise are too much...
n yet you guys still can handle it.. believe me.. if you continue to work hard n enjoy what you are doing..
YTWO will EXCEL.. to the new leaders.. thank you.. stay with the band.. n do your very best to build YTWO up.. you all can go very fur if you dun let laziness sets in...
hmmmm my head is spinning liao.. zZZZZzzzzz.. YTWO... you are the only band that i love ...

today...

2007-05-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. nothing much happened today.. the same old thing.. cooking.. haha..
but tried out a new dish again,.. guess it turn out well.. ( steam mince pork wrap in chinese cabbage) lot of the crew likes it.. n haha.. deep fried curry chicken ..
anyway.. still in camp.. tomorrow going to try out something different again.. have been thinking very hard.. what to cook tomorrow.. hehe.. come up with this: deep fried KFC chicken wings, bake kong Pau pork.. hmm dunno if it workes .. but nvm.. should be ok.. haha..
just now went for a run again .. about 4.5km i guess.. then meet up with my church friends over dinner.. talk alot about Father.. i guess he never ever walk away from me before bah.. haha.. always there by my side.. THANK YOU LORD MY GOD MY FATHER!!. for being you .. always there guiding n answering my needs..
hmmm.. dunno what to blog about liao.. zzzzz ZZZzzzz... good night.. N GOD BLESS..
is all about believing n doing>>>>>
( oh yah.. almost forgotten.. if anyone of you out there have any good idea what to cook.. or what you think will be interesting n great to try n eat.. feel free to let me know k.. just put it under the comments or the tag board.. thanks)

things getting better... [=.=!]

2007-05-28T20:41:00.000+08:00

hei!.. things seems to be getting better for now.. i really hope that this is the sign given by Father... that the down time for me n my family is finally going to end.. really dun think i can go any lower than this.. haha..
but i believe this things are there to make me a stronger person bah... hmmm i dunno..
anyway.. i am still in camp now.. long to go back home to see my mum.. but cannot.. hmmm.
NVM.. i think over here in my ship.. i kind of settled down liao.. every thing is under control.. hehe.. now even my chief decided to listen to my advise.. which i think is good .. n really save my department lots of trouble.. haha.. but still he need time to change lah.. still trying to find ways to EAT SNAKE sometimes!! .. hmm nvm..
new things coming up for me.. well firstly.. i will be starting my part time studies very soon.. hehe.. 19th of june.. (dip in hotel management) haha.. the only thing i am worried of is that i have to sail out almost every week.. so will be missing a number of lesson.. hei.. what to do.. just pary that i dun have to miss to much lah..
then the second thing ..is some thing i dun think is right for me to blog about... but is something happy for me lah.. a kind of hope.. :p .. for those who want to know.. just ask me when you see me loh.. will tell you if i think is ok for you to know.. haha.. (sorry yah)
hmmm.. now let me think .. anymore new things...
ah... yah.. almost forgot.. i finally am taking my sec school band (officially) liao.. hehe.. teaching them every sat.. so happy.. very tired but really am glad that i am given this chance.. hope that the students will help me out lah.. ( yTWO.. pls help me k.. n try to understand what i really want for you guys.. n Thanks a million for those who listen to me, n give me the support that i need.. as i always believe.. IS THE PEOPLE IN IT THAT MAKE THE BAND .. )
hmmm .. dun get me wrong ah.. i mean i am helping MR Chew to teach ah.. NOT that i am the instructor.. NO!NO!..
****FOR MY MOST LOVED FLUTE SECTION.. ****
girls .. All of you are my happy beans.. always making me happy without fail.. hehe.. thanks.. haha.. hmmm.. i promise k.. i will do my best to find time for the section.. I WILL !!!! but pls.. promise me that you girls will practise lah.. with my tight time table.. i dun think i can afford to reteach ah!! hope you all understand yah.. so whenever we have our sectionals ..hehe.. CONCENTRATE ok!!!!!!( seniors n X seniors of the section.. if you have time pls come back to visit the section n me lah.. miss all of you alot leh!!!!! ANGRY AH!!LoL)

Dunno where to start.!!!!

2007-05-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

it has been a while i guess since i blog...
really dunno what to write... Sad n DEpress is the word.. very tired of every thing also...
this question have been in my mind ever since i came back from japan.. or should i say.. my mind set have changed since then...
why am i not born in a rich family. where i dun have to worry about money n just concentrate in my studies.. not having to stop because of No MOney to study.. i really dunno why..
why do i have to take over so heavy a responsibility when i am yet up to it. n every one thinks is easy... "saying i can do it!!!!!!!!!!"
why am i blessed with so many worries? why???? not all are mine to carry!!!.. they just push it to me because i looks like i am up to it.. yah yah yah!! i am.. if is one by one..
BUT IS NOT.. all this come at the same time...
i know i still can do it.. BUT ... i am reaching my limit soon.. VERY SOON!!!
do anyone know... that i even think of just killing myself last week. i really want to..
but what stop me is that i still have my family that needs me.. my mother n father...
i thought if i die .. at least there will be lots of money from my insurance , given to them.. hmmm
but .. i know is stupid lah. thats why i am still around.. then still have my friends n sisters from the flute section n ytwo.....
all that is in my mind now.. is to do my best in the navy.. study hard (part time) n get out of the force.. then work very very hard to become the best chef i can be.
i wish not to have the same thing happen to my own family in the future....
believe me .. one day i will be there.. with every thing i always wanted to be n have..

thank you Father....

Sorry.. too much for me!!!!

2007-05-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

Sorry... things are going up n down.. everything... today can be good then the next thing very bad.. so really dun have the time n mood to blog.. when i have the time.. i will blog it all out slowly..
but still.. i want to thank God for every thing he bless me with.. good or bad.. is all under his control.. glory to the lord most high....

A normal day....

2007-05-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

ok.. just came back from dinner with ling ling jia.. haha had a good meal.. hmmm.. she keep on asking me to eat n eat.. ah !! VerY full...
hehe .. ok .. from now on i think i will try to put in an entry of what i cook on ship for the day.. haha..
Menu of the day:
Nasi Lemak set..
Deep fried chicken wings
BBQ pork
Suger penut n ikan bilis
Sembal
fish cake.
veg soup
haha.. thats it .. lunch for the day.. :) gtg.. good night

Busy,bUsy, buSy!!!

2007-05-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

OK.. have been very busy to get things right.. so many things happened the pass 2 weeks!!!
but dun think there is a point blogging about the sad things lah..
haha.. every thing is getting better now.. ( i dun think anyone would know what is going on)
NVM... the thing is .. for all my friends out there.. thanks alot for the care n concern..
i am alright now'.. esp Julia.. (haha thanks girl)
hehe today so happy.. she ask me if i want to have dinner with her .. haha.. ;)
it may be just a simple dinner to her.. but to me.. hehe.. hmmmm..
NO WORDS THAT I CAN SAY TO EXP MY FEELINGS.. hahah
anyway .. am going to do part time study soon.. taking diploma in hotel management lah.
i pray that Father will bless n guide me in all the things i do.. n really want to thank God for every thing.. i know this is a test for me that he had plan.. n i will become stronger as i walk n stay by his side.. To all my friends out there.. STAY BY THE FATHER NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH..BE IT GOOD OR BAD.. BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE ON EARTH THAT CAN LOVE YOU MORE THEN HE DOES.. as i always believe.. God will provide.. (n you need to work for it n believe in him also lah) ahyoh!!!!!

I am Back

2007-04-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. dun really feel like bogging anymore.. dun feel like doing anything..
dunno what to say.. sad... :(
Just have this to say..
Father Lord.. i am your son.. i love you Father.. i know you are always there for me.. n i believe that what ever happen in my life is part of your great plan for me.. For you love all your children. Lord pls guide me . i need you Daddy.. i pray that you will hold me close to you Father.. n be there for me in all the things i do.. let me do it for you not for myself... because i know.. when you are the center ... nothing Will ever go wrong.. God.. Father ..Lord.. i love you .. thank you for all the blessing n plans you have for me. ..

A Fast one.. Hehehe

2007-04-18T07:50:00.000+08:00

ok.. this will be vary short.. today the 3rd day in Japan liao.. (Nagoya by the way) tomorrow will be going off to ToKyo.. hai.. though that it will be a holiday for me.. but NOT LOH!!!!!!! found out that this trip is to go for a international convention of some Japan product.. but never the less i still get to see alot of this lah..
the air here is very cooling.. the most important thing is the people here are all very very nice.. they greet you every where you go.. SO NICE!!! if only Singapore will be the same...
O neeed to go liao.. anyway.. SIS.. sorry lah.. cannot find the things that you want yet... and also every thing is so X here.. i spent more then $80 (sing) just on the things that zhu zhu want.... hai... i will still try my best to get it lah k.. hehe.. Flute section.. i miss you girls alot.. hmmm.. take care k... see if can meet for dinner on sat... ;)
Father i want to thank you for the blessing of this trip.. i know what you want from me liao....

2007-04-15T17:59:00.000+08:00

OK. this is Flute Section of year

2004 .. that is if i am not wrong lah..

over here is both Y2 n samwinds flute section.. is a gift from them before i go into the army.. HEHE .. sweet right...

Flying off tonight

2007-04-15T17:41:00.000+08:00

ok.. this Will be a short one yah..
Firstly.. i want to say sorry to my sis lah.. i made her angry yesterday. when we are having lunch at LJS yishun .. hmmmm
Sister ah.. i am very sorry for what happen yah.. you know what i mean lah.. hehe..
so forgive me k.. n i know you will..
anyway.. i am flying off to Japan mid-night tonight.. w my mum lah..
i take this as a first n last break for the year loh.. hai!! no more leave liao..
so you guys out there .. take care yah.. esp.. Y2 n my beloved flute section .... going to miss you sisters men.. hai..
lastly.. i want to thank GOD for every blessing he give to me.. hehe.. Father.. you are the best gift i can ever ask for. as you always give the best to me n all your children.. Lord.. i Love you .. n i pray that you will protect n lead Y2 n the flute section members in their studies n their life.. guide them Father .. give them the gift of great music playing.. that will touch the listeners heart n soul.. like the way you touch mind .. Lord.. THANK YOU for being there for them.. n for me ..

About My Job as a chef in the Navy

2007-04-13T20:17:00.000+08:00

this is how my ship look lke
Ok .. why do i want to talk about this job of mine!.. hmmm .. is very simple... i am going through a big problem at work.. which i have been trying to just take it easy.. but after what happen to me two days ago (my family problem thingy), i suddenly starts to see alot of things very clearly.... Firstly i am not going to let my family problems to go on like this..(which means i am going to try my very best to bring my family back together.. with the help of GOD.. hehe)

Then i am going to start doing my own self-study.. will be taking it slowly.. (still thinking what i am going to study first.. i have few things in mind.. to study music, cooking or sports.. hmmm.. or even F n B..) What do you think???

the 3rd thing will be about my work now .. Which i have a little bit of hard time..

you see.. as a naval chef.. your daily job will be cooking right.. very simple huh?

NO NO.. is only simple if you are a J chef.. (anyway as a J chef also not easy lah) J Chef junior chef lah. his primary job will be helping the L Chef & C Chef.. in cutting n washing.. alot of dirty job lah.. but dun really have to think too much.. just follow instruction can liao.. dun really need to answer to any problems..

As for the L Chef.. means Leading Chef.. for hotel the L Chef will be the supervisor chef lah.. N that is me.. i am a L Chef in my ship.. my job is to cook n think of what to cook.. teach my J Chef n help my C Chef .. like the hamburger lah.. i am the meat.. hai.

As for C Chef.. mean Chief Chef lah.. head of the department.. for his job.. he have to over look the cooking n also cook sometimes.. n indenting of the ship ration.. n also care for our well being..

but you know what... i feel like i am both the L n the C Chef... because i am doing both the job..

dun get me wrong k.. is not that my C Chef is lazy. is just that he is not a very clever person.. so alot of things he dun really know how to do.. OK.. Is like you rather he sit back n relax n let you do everything.. then you letting him do it.... because.. in the end after he do the thing.. you have to take more time to clean it up again...( my Chief Chef is a kind hearted person k.. is just that he dun really know what to do n what not to do only)

you know how i feel.. hmmm.. is very funny.. feel angry ,sad, happy, ah.. is a mix lah.. it would be easier if he is just good or bad... but he is neither good or bad.. hai..

Father i pray for you guidance, protection n for wisdom... that i will be more carefull of with i do n say.. n to see things the way you want me to see.. God i want to thank you n praise you for every thing you bless me with.. n may i be a blessing to others in your mighty name.. thank you Father.. amen..

Hannah sis n me!!!!

2007-04-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

She vary cute n pretty Right.. haha.. but when she open her mouth.. ah yoh!!!!

Some Sweet Memories

2007-04-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

Flute Section 2006..... Zhu Zhu where are you???????

BAD DAY!!

2007-04-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning ready to go to work.. but to my shock!!! my hand phone was stolen .. It was just beside me!! found out it was my brother that took it when i was asleep..
i know i should not blog about my family problem .. but i really cannot take it anymore!!!!
my dad lose his job 6 years ago.. so ever since he has been at home.. i dunno if it is really hard to find a job or what but.. he just cannot find any.. i already give up on the idea that he will find any job.. anyway he is already in his 50s.. just hope he Will stay happy n healthy.. ( anyway. my dad has a MBA k.. Master in Business Accountancy from USA)yet cannot find any job.. this tells me something that is very true.. in THIS COUNTRY AGE MATTERS THE MOST!!!!????
because of this i have to sign on into the navy.. i never like it in here.. but.. NVM..
then over this 6 years alot of things happened in my family.. my mum have to start working .. but after 2 years she also cannot take it anymore.. n she left the house to go back to Indonesia to stay with her sisters.. coming back once a while to see us then go back again.. has been like this the pass 3 to 4 years .. :( i love my mother alot .. n i know she love me too.. alot alot.. if there is going to be anyone that can love me 2nd to Jesus it will be her.. my dearest mother..
about my brothers.. as i need to start working n provide the income for this family.. i dun have much time to spend with them.. so our relationship became more like strangers then brothers.. i really dunno when n how.. they become from bad to worst every day.. my 2nd brother hardly at home.. always go out with his gang.. gambling like nothing.. sometime i really dunno where did he get his money from.. he just know how n where to get it. . i dun even know if he still take me as his brother or not... then the 3rd one.. n also he is the one that i love most.. what ever he want i will try my best to give him.. BUT now.. he steals from me.. took anything of from the house to sell .. YOU KNOW FOR WHAT????!!! i find it funny .. just to go funland n timezone to play.. n to show off to his friends that he is rich.. HELLO brothers.. 6 years ago.. we are rich.. but come on..... now we are poor.. just face the fact.. YOUR BROTHER, I, CANNOT DO THIS FOREVER.... i need your help!!! I NEED YOU ALL MY BROTHERS.. why can,t you get it.. N stop stealing .. 3 handphone you took away n sell it ..THREE!!! you know.. you think i am vary rich huh???? i really cannot take it anymore.....
I am 23 already.. i really need to start saving for myself .. how am i to do that when i have so many things in hands... i wanted badly to go back to school to study.. I REALLY WANT.. is not that i am the type that cannot study.. i can n i want.. but i dun have the money n time..
am I just finding stupid reasons or what.. i dunno.. i just want to let a happy life.. one that can help others n my family.. i love to see people smiling.. !!!! but my family.. they just dun smile.. last time i see all of us being happy as a family was 6 years ago... I hate MOney... because it TAKE away what true love means..kills what family love means.... IS JUST A PAPER.. THAT YOU USE TO EXCHANGE THINGS AROUND!!!!!!!!!( i know some of you will not agree with me.. but is just how i feel about money.. isn't it true that nation fights, families torn apart , brothers kills each other just because of money.. n is also because of own greediness)
i pray .. or maybe just never pray enough.. that GOD.. pls help my family.. help me lord.. there are times i really feel like just ending this life of mine.. is really very tiring.. but i know Father this is a test you gave me.. n you will never give any test more then i can handle right.. so Father i still want to thank you more n more.. I LOVE YOU MY GOD MY FATHER... help my family to come back together.. i cannot do this alone.. Father i pray n ask for your guidance.. amen

Everything is over... BUT I AM NOT READY FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-10T17:43:00.000+08:00

TOday yt go for their syf.. n they came back with a Silver... i would like to thank Father for every thing he did for ytwo.. n also.. i know.. greater n better future awaits the band..
but.. i just dunno why i am so depress.. i know for sure is not because of the results .. as i felt that the band plays well today..n most importantly.. we all did our best.. n with the help of the lord.. we manage to get back a silver.. i believe that this silver is a high one.. well done band..!!!
NExt for my beloved sisters in the Flute section... I love all of you girls.. all of you makes me..
time pass too fast i feel.. every time when we are together.. i guess the reason why i am so Emo.. is all because.. i cannot let go.. i am going to miss the seniors in the section.. really.. esp PIGGY..
really have to take some time for me to let go.. hai..
ZHU ZHU.. promise me that you will be back k.. n got chance eat dinner together huh??? =.=.
sod sod.. :(
for the sec 4 leaders.. i really want to thank all of you for the respect n support you give me.. n i hope all the sec 4 will not leave the band with any regrets.. N MOST ImpORtANTly.. study hard yah n smart too.. i wish to see next year O level result top student all or most come from the band..
YTWO.. I LOVE YOU....!!!!!

Missing Someone

2007-04-08T16:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. i dunno what to say.. but really start to have a bad feeling again.. kind of miss her.. Dun anyhow guess lah.. no one will know who i miss one.. never tell anyone before..
God .. help me to drop it pls. before it is too late. !!!!!
anyway.. sorry for the many wrong spellings...

ThINKiNG, mISSing N WisHING?!

2007-04-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

Today is really a very very long day for me .. vary tired.. just came back from church.. my day started out with taking the yt wood winds then go out to makan.. with the flute section n Yanni..
hai... so long dun get to see her.. she look more skinny to me now.. hope she is doing well lah..
after food.. go back for band.. hmmm.. the practise is not a bad one.. or should say is good.. dunno why the band sound weak to me.. but nvm.. i guess is because they are just too tired.. hope they will get enough rest till the com day itself..
i was just thinking when i am in church... how god is so great to me and all my friends.. Father answered all my prayers one by one.. day by day.. i really want to thank you father for everything .. i know i say this everyday.. but i am not getting tired of it.. in fact.. i want to do this everyday.. thank you thank you thank you.. my heavenly father..:)
hmmm.. i am starting to have that feeling again.. i dun think is good.. have to stop it.. !!!
HELP HELP!!!!!!!
lastly.. i want to pray for yt band .. that lord.. you will protect them .. keep them save.. n bless them with good night sleep.. hehe.. n Father.. happy dreams.. THANK YOU AGAIN.. gd night!

Wake up too early

2007-04-07T07:15:00.000+08:00

hai.. set my alarm vary early.. afraid that i might woke up late mah..

anyway just try to upload some pic loh.. hehe..
Well.. this is the flute section in the 2001 batch.
haha.. saw me?
this pic was taken on my ROD night.. haha. so long ago man!

A normal BUT happy Day .. hehehehe!!!

2007-04-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

OK.. now.. today started vary lazy then went out to meet Hannah sis n piggy.. haha
Went to bugis then to Vivo lah.. hmmmm .. vary long since i go out liao.
is like 1 month to two!!
sis was like asking me to pay for almost every thing she want loh.. hmmm.. going broke liao lah
really like to see both piggy n sis smiling n joking all the way loh..
hannah was like laughing all the time haha
hope both of them enjoyed the day.. well if you ask me.. i really do enjoy the outing haha.. too bad jasmine cannot came along.. if not it willl be even more fun.. hehe
anyway.. when i was at vivo.. we went up to the top of the building.. ah yah.. i dunno what is that place call lah.. went there to soak leg.. then i look across to santosa..
In my mind i was thinking.. how beautiful is this place.. and i pray .. god.. i will work hard.. n one day .. i want to live in a house that can have the same view.. every morning facing the water n see the clear sky with the sea breeze blowing on my face.. like father telling me: " dun worry .. today n every day will be a smooth n great day for you.. as I will be always be there for you.. "
that i just need to follow him.. n every thing will be good.. no matter what happen FATHER will be there.. HE WILL PROVIDE
thank you father .. i pray to you now.. that every thing that i teach tomorrow will be of your guidance.. n the yt winds will learn fast.. n have a fruit full n joyous day.. THANK YOU LORD MOST HIGH...

Back From Sailing !-)

2007-04-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... just came back from sailing.. then rush down to sunplaza to meet my sister, piggy n jas.. took a cab again.. wah liao.. $21 gone again.. i think i really neeed to start to learn to save...
hmmm.. but nvm .. i think is worth the money.. because seeing them really makes me happy n distress lah... haha if you ask me why .. hmmm i also dunno.. they just seems to be able to take away my stress for a while.. THANKS GIRLS!!! REALLY GREAT TO HAVE YOU GIRLS AS FRIENDS. HAHA
Then now about the 2days 1 night sailing.. hai.. dunno what to say lah.. i think i have been spending too much time in yt liao .. forget totally that i still have to work..
have not been doing my best in cooking for 1 month liao.. too tired n keep on worry for the com..well this will happen every 2 years.. hai..
my friends ask me why.. i just say is my passion i think.. even if it means to give every thing i have to help them i will.. haha .. is just what i love to do bah..
i hope when the com is over i will concentrate on my work bah... n also to start teaching the next batch of flute section...
God.. Father .. pls help me to plan my time properly.. n bless the section jr to be able to listen to me n practise when we starts the sectionals after the com.. lastly.. bless ytwo com batch. to have lots of rest n less stress from the school n family..
Father thank you for all your blessing n help you give to me all this while.. i love you Daddy.. you are the best that i can ever ask for...

First timer

2007-04-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

today.. first time doing this.. haha.. took me about an hour n a half to set up this blog
hmmmm. now just testing only haha

anyway.. this pass one month really vary tiring n busy.. not in work but in yt.. the band is going for compition vary soon.. really wish that this time round they will get what they work for..
GOD ... they really work vary hard.. i pray to you that you will bless everyone of them.. really.. in very thing.. be it health , school work n friends n family.. Father i pray that they will be fully bless by you.. that no one n nothing can stop them to get what they have been working so hard for...

thats it.. anyway .. almost forgot.. today at work.. hmmmm.. NVM..
good night